Someone's confused my passport photo order.
Someone gave me the wrong pictures back! Who's that fat fuck with the unruly hair and jowels?
Oh, wait. What? That IS...me?
Remember that time I said I could stand to lose like 5 lbs or so? Make that 30.
Mama mia, this baby beluga bit is not becoming of me. Everyone warned me about living with a boy and following their habits. I've fallen prey! I've fallen prey!
No, but really, I have to give up my bad habits. This morning my boss caught me with a hot chocolate and a half a cupcake. He asked what my mother would say if she saw me eating such an unbalanced meal.
I'm not sure, really. I don't think she knows that I eat utter crap if left to my own devices.
So I'm back on my 'no solids' diet. Let's see how long this one lasts.