Saturday, August 30, 2008

New York Still Isn't Impressing Me with its Hospitality

It sucks when your boyfriend gets clocked on the head with a glass bottle. Reminds me of that time the British press released a tape of Liam and Noel Gallagher arguing during an interview. Noel tells Liam, "It's football hooliganism and I won't stand for it."

I don't feel like going into detail, but no, I wasn't there at the time. No, he doesn't know who did it. Yes, we're fuming mad. Yes, we went to the emergency room. Biggups to Benjamin Killian at Beth Israel! No, it's no fun seeing your boyfriend covered in blood. Yes, those are 9 staples in his head. Yes, he had to shave his head. Biggups to Frank for attending to him; I wouldn't have been able to do it alone. Honorable mention: Brother Bear for providing medical counseling via phone.

Still hatin' on New York.

Back to nursing the injured...excuse me.

Thursday, August 21, 2008



Every place seems like a rape den. If you're not rich, what the fuck is the point of living New York?

Someone remind me.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Importance of Being Earnest

Here are some things I want:
  1. Insurance (so I can get my bum leg to physical therapy.)
  2. a hair cut (so that dryness and tangling will no longer halt my daily schedule.)
  3. wax: legs and bikini (shaving for like 14 years has finally gotten to my skin.)
  4. an apartment (again, can't tell if i'm being picky.)
  5. a brand new wardrobe (I feel like I haven't gotten new clothes since last fall.)
  6. new glasses (I love my glasses now, but need an update.)
  7. a puppy (for good measure.)
  8. a new ipod (I haven't had one since...06? Can't even remember.)
  9. gym membership (i'm fat.)

santa, feel free to pitch in here.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Damon Albarn Loves Black People!

It's true!
See for yourself:


I love pretty much anything Damon Albarn does. He's the master of music proliferation. His latest project is a speakerbox for Honest Jon's record label based in London, but of course, much more worldly. It includes work from artists he met during his trips to Africa. I was able to check him out on a whim at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center in mid July.

Here's an article that describes the project better:

Check it out!

Finding an Apartment in New York

Is like trying to find a clean syringe in Coney Island beach. Nearly impossible.

Last week a neurotic Hasidic Jew tried to sell me on a $1900 hallway. It really was a lovely hardwood floor hallway, I will say that. It did have ample lighting, but a communal shower and kitchen. No, thanks. He seemed to get mad I wasn't jumping all over him to sign the lease. Not that I could jump all over him if I wanted to. He can't touch women, let alone a seedy gentile such as myself.

Just today I saw another 800 square foot 'loft' style apartment with no tub. Is it too much to ask to get a tub in your freakin' apartment? I have a bum knee and need my afternoon water aquatics.

Also, half these brokers don't understand the concept of a loft, but I guess that's how they trick hopeful would-be renters into viewing spaces. Just because a place doesn't have partitioned rooms doesn't mean it's a loft. Just because it has more than one window doesn't mean it's a loft. Also, when the floors are actually wood board covered in polyurethane, they shouldn't be listed as hardwood. Just some basic ethics and good natured selling.

For example, here is a lovely image taken from a listing on for a new condo in the fabulously gentrified 'Willy B':I mean, I just can't believe those girls come with the condo...